Comparing Collaborative Divorce to a Traditional Divorce

Are you considering divorce, but concerned that hiring an attorney will make the process more expensive and contentious? I hear you, and I have great news for you!

There are lots of attorneys trained in the Collaborative Divorce process. This is a formal process in which both parties agree to handle their divorce entirely outside of the courtroom. In the article below, I discuss some of the major differences between Collaborative Divorce and a traditional, litigated divorce.

Even if you don’t end up completing the formal Collaborative Divorce process, a collaboratively trained attorney can help you negotiate a settlement with your ex.

DISCLAIMER: Please note that Collaborative Divorce is not appropriate for all situations. While you can do everything within your power to prevent your divorce from being World War III, staying out of the courtroom also requires that your ex come to the table and be reasonable.

The Process is Solutions-Focused, Rather than Rights-Focused

With divorce comes a lot of emotional hurt. In the collaborative divorce process, the parties work together with experts to identify the “why” behind a party’s particular requests. The team looks at a holistic approach to how to divorce the spouses while still meeting the needs of both parents and kids. In a traditional divorce, it’s easy for the parties to get fixated on what they want, without looking at the larger picture.

The Goal is to Preserve the Co-Parenting Relationship

Like it or not, if you have children, you will be co-parents with your ex for the rest of your life. Studies are demonstrating that it is the level of conflict between the parents, not the divorce itself, that is most harmful to children. The collaborative process recognizes this and tries to help the parties learn new communication skills and tools to help them resolve future disputes on their own.

Collaborative Divorce is Less Expensive

The most common question I get asked by people considering divorce is, “How much does a divorce cost?” My answer, in true lawyer fashion, is, “It depends.” If you have a contested divorce involving children that goes all the way to a hearing, you can expect to pay a minimum of $35,000 for your attorneys’ fees alone. This is for one party’s attorneys’ fees, and does not include fees for experts, such as parenting evaluators, appraisers, or property valuators. In short, litigation is expensive. And unlike a trip to Europe, you won’t have pretty pictures to look back on at the end of it.

By contrast, I routinely have non-contested divorces where attorneys’ fees range from $2,500 to $10,000, depending on the value of property, whether there are kids, and whether any experts are needed.

You Don’t Have to Go to Court

With Collaborative Divorce, you don’t have to see the inside of a courtroom. If you’re like me, you like dressing up in a suit and standing in front of a judge. But for many people, a divorce is their first encounter with the legal system, and entering a courtroom can be intimidating.

Wouldn’t you much rather grab a cup of coffee and join the team around a conference table to sort out your parenting schedule and division of property?

For more information on the Collaborative Divorce process, please check out my blog post here.

Do you have questions about alternative forms to the traditional, litigated divorce? If so, I’m here to help.